Goh Hwee Lan, my grandmother ("Ahma"), passed away last Sunday (13th May 2012), at the age of 85.
When I first learnt about her demise, I couldn't bring myself to understand the feeling of losing someone you love as I just stood blankly and casually told my friends that Ahma had passed on.
I was heartless but my brain was convincing me that I must go home to see her as soon as possible and so I barged out of the class to book the earliest flight home.
While booking, tears were streaming down my cheek uncontrollably as it was then I realised that I've lost Ahma forever.
Upon returning to class shortly after, the compassionate lecturer asked whether I'm going home and after replying her with an affirmative answer, tears were rolling down instantly again as I reminisce about Ahma.
I'd like to take a moment to write about my beloved Ahma.
Ahma was extremely independent, strong-willed and an intelligent woman. She never complained about the problems or pain she has and is known as the woman of few words.
I always look forward into Sundays as it's the day where I could visit and talk to her with my broken Hokkien.
I know it's hard to communicate when my Hokkien is so broken, (luckily i got little help from cousins and aunt to translate most of the words for me) but it managed to make Ahma laugh and never once did she criticize my Hokkien. :)
The last conversation I had with her was, "Ahma, this is my boyfriend! Handsome or not?"(while showing her my Dublin photos). I regret not telling her that it was a joke and I hope she knows it by now.
The most memorable conversation happened when I proudly informed her
of my acceptance into Law School and I was so anxious to see her reaction like maybe a smile or an acknowledgment of job well done, but what I got instead was her skeptical but genuine reply, which was,
"Lu Tak Eh Ki boh?" which literally means, "You can finish studying or not?".
Yes, relatives around me was laughing at that time and my aunt was saying that out of many of Ahma's grandchildren who have made it into university, I was the only one who has the sneer comment from her.
lol. should i consider myself lucky?
I have about one year into graduation to prove myself but sadly, Ahma couldn't hold much longer to witness it.
The lessons she taught me (through our conversations and through how she lived her life) are important lessons that have shaped me into who I am today.
Some of the things she imparted to me, and for which I am grateful to learn, are, be a strong woman and talk only when necessary.
I will miss her, and I already do, but I am thankful to know a woman like her.
She's the best Ahma anyone could have asked for and I hope she's living in peace.
Sundays will never be the same again without her. Rest in peace Ahma.
xoxo
Miss V
-misses Ahma-
